


A Time Lord's Brain is a Complicated Thing

by jellybeansarecool



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Chip Shop, Chocolate shake, Emotional Child Bodies, F/M, Fluff, Panic Attack, River sucks her thumb, Tears, The Doctor and River are children, The Doctor is a grumpy little kid called Basil, acting Tenth Doctor, awesome foster mum, de-aging ray, death of a child (not explicit), like more angst than I was intending... opps, lots and lots of tears, mentions of Kovarian's astronaut suit, no idea what to title this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 18:11:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18299468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellybeansarecool/pseuds/jellybeansarecool
Summary: River and the Doctor have been shot with a de-aging ray. They barely escape with their lives, landing in London in the early 2000s they set out to find a way to change back. Unfortunately, a well-intentioned mum finds them and wants to help.It's a bit of an AU because River and the Doctor leave Darillium and then interrupt the Tenth Doctor trying to save a school.





	A Time Lord's Brain is a Complicated Thing

**Author's Note:**

> So, I haven't written fanfiction in YEARS and I've got to say some of the old stuff that I posted on Fanfiction.net was probably a bit cringy. That's not to say that this isn't (I have no one but myself to blame for mistakes and ridiculousness) but I just wanted to write something that wasn't school related so here you go. 
> 
> The perspective bounces back and forth quite a lot so if you feel like you're at a tennis match or if you strain your neck I sincerely apologize ;)

Two women stood in a park watching over their playing children. One of them stopped paying attention to her friend when she saw two small children holding hands and walking on the footpath by the park fence. She nudged her friend. “How old do you think those kids are?” She asked the woman beside her.  
Turning her head, the older of the two spotted the kids, “Ummm. The boy’s probably five or six and the girl couldn’t be more than two. Why? What’s wrong?”  
“That’s what I thought. I’ve watched them since they were back there,” she pointed to the far end of the road, “and I haven’t seen any parent or caregiver. Do you think they’re all right?”  
“No one? You sure they haven’t gotten ahead or behind of a clueless babysitter?”  
“No, no. I’m sure. They are definitely out walking alone.”  
“Hmmm.”  
The two women continued to watch the little boy and girl. He was dressed in black pants, a hoodie, a jacket, and heavy shoes. Every now and again he would run his free hand through the dark curls that rested on his head. His hawkish features, something that he would hopefully grow into, were sharp and added to the air of distrust that surrounded him as he glared at his surroundings. The little girl, in contrast, looked like a small cherub. Her round face was accented by her pink chubby cheeks and golden ringlets. She was dressed in boots, black leggings, and a grey-green tunic-like dress. She appeared to be chatting happily to the little boy who would give her a curt nod occasionally.  
“Maybe I’m worrying about nothing. They look like they’re ok.” The younger woman said with a sigh. “I’m probably just overreacting.”  
“No. I don’t think you are. The little boy looks like he’s scared of something. And they seem to be walking as fast as the girl can manage. He’s practically pulling her along.”  
The two women settled back into silence as they continued to watch. The children were getting closer now and they could see how the toddler would stumble every now and again, and how the boy was holding her very tight and close.  
“Watch my kid. I’m going to go talk to that boy.” The older woman placed her hand on the younger’s arm before making her way to the two small children. 

“Doctor! Slow down. These legs can’t keep up.”  
“Don’t be ridiculous.”  
River pulled her small hand out of the Doctor’s. She stood with a pout and a scowl on her face, “At least tell me where we are going.”  
The Doctor stopped and turned around. “River,” he tried to place his hands on her shoulders.  
River batted away the Doctor’s hands and tried to fold her arms, but the small chubby limbs wouldn’t do as she wanted and just rested on top of each other. “Doctor.”  
“We don’t have time for this.”  
River shook her head. The curls bounced around her face. “Make time.”  
“River. River. River! We just got shot with some de-aging ray and barely escaped with your vortex manipulator.”  
“Which you are now wearing.”  
“That’s not the point. The point is that we have to find another version of me or the TARDIS so that we can find our TARDIS and work out a way to change back.”  
“That doesn’t answer my question.”  
The Doctor groaned and spun in a circle. He threw his hands up in the air, “We don’t have much time because I don’t know how long it will be till our minds de-age as well.”  
“What?!” River dropped her arms and took a step towards the Doctor.  
“The only reason that it’s just our bodies at the moment is because we aren’t human. A Time Lord’s brain is a complicated thing.”  
“But, Doctor… How long have I got?”  
“I don’t know!” The Doctor yelled before taking a deep breath and lowering his voice. He wrapped his arms around the tiny version of his wife, “That’s why I’m worried.” He whispered.  
Gently pushing her husband away, River looked up into his eyes, “Where are we going?”  
The Doctor took River by the hand again and started to walk, “I saw a newspaper back where we landed. We are in London and I’m pretty sure today one of my past selves is out galivanting. He parked the TARDIS in a school, but it will be moved to a park.”  
“So we are going to the park? This park?” She pointed at the grounds beside them were children and families were playing and chatting.  
“No.”  
“No?”  
“No,” the Doctor repeated. “We are going to a fish-&-chip shop, the TARDIS stays in the school for a while. I can’t be certain when I moved it but I do know that I went there with Sarah-Jane.”  
River frowned, “But Sweetie, this is the early 2000s. I don’t remember your fourth self and Sarah-Jane coming to London now.”  
“No, not the teeth. I was with Rose.”  
“Oh! So a later face then.”  
“Yes.”

A woman in her early forties came out of the park and stood in front of River and the Doctor.  
The Doctor glared at her and pulled River closer to his side.  
“Hello there,” she said, her voice smooth and sweet. “Where are your parents?”  
River and the Doctor exchanged a glance.  
“None of your business.” The Doctor grumbled.  
The woman crouched down in front of them, “Don’t be rude, young man. I’m just trying to make sure you are ok. Children shouldn’t be out walking by themselves.”  
River piped up, her small child’s voice still sounding weird to her ears, “Chips!” She pointed down the street with a smile.  
“Yes, we are meeting our father.” The Doctor caught on to what River was trying to do.  
“And you’re walking all by yourself?” The woman asked with a frown.  
“It’s not far.” The Doctor retorted.  
“How about I give you a lift?”  
“We shouldn’t get in cars with strangers.” He grumbled.  
“Very smart!” The woman stood and patted his head. “My name is Kara. My son is playing over there,” she pointed at some boys playing on the jungle gym, “the one in the red jacket.” She looked down at the two small figures, “What are your names?”  
River squeezed her husband’s hand, she did not want him to mess this up. “Melody,” she smiled.  
“Basil.”  
“See?” The lady smiled, “Now we’re not strangers. I’ll just go tell my friend and then I’ll take you to meet your father. Stay here.” She added as she began walking across the field to another woman standing under a large tree. 

“What did you do that for?” The Doctor turned to glare at River.  
“If we didn’t play along she would have called the cops and being put in the system would not be helpful.” River tried to cross her arms, frustrated that they wouldn’t work.  
She turned with a smirk, “Basil?”  
“Shut up.” 

Kara walked up to her friend, “Jane!”  
Jane turned to look at Kara, “Are they ok? What did you find out?”  
“Apparently they are walking to a takeaway place to meet their dad.”  
“What? Alone!?”  
“That’s what I thought.” Kara bent to pick up her purse at the base of the tree. “If you could take Jay back to your house I will take those two to the shop and see if their dad really is there. I’m thinking it’s going to be a long night at a police station and I’d rather that my son didn’t have to relive this. I’ve finally got him thinking that the cops are the good guys and aren’t going to take him away.”  
“Of course.” Jane smiled and gave Kara a quick hug. “Let me know what’s happening. I’m sure the boys would love a sleep-over.”  
“I hope it doesn’t get to that.”  
“Me either. But it doesn’t hurt to have a plan.” Jane’s smile was tight as she turned back to watching the boys.  
“I’ll call you!” Kara waved as she made her way back towards Basil and Melody. She was glad that they hadn’t tried to run.  
The two children followed her quietly towards the car. Kara was thankful that she was babysitting the neighbour’s toddler for a little extra cash. She wouldn’t have had the right car seat for Melody otherwise. She opened the boot of the car and pulled out Jay’s old booster seat; she kept it on hand in case one of his smaller friends came to play after church. Moving around the car she put it in the back and gestured to Basil to climb in.  
Kara reached down to pick Melody up to strap her into her car seat, but as she did so Basil pulled the little girl towards him and protectively put his arms around her. “Don’t touch her!” He growled.  
Kara placed her hands on her hips, “She needs to go in the car seat. She can’t get in by herself, she’s too small.”  
Kara sighed and kneeled. Who knows what these kids have been through, she needed a different approach. Gently placing her hand on Basil’s arm, she spoke quietly, “Basil, sweet-heart. It’s ok. I’m not going to hurt her. Melody will be safe. You can climb into the back first and then I’ll put her in next to you. Ok?”  
Basil nodded and took a step back. Melody turned and looked at him. He gave her a little smile and turned to climb into the car.  
“Melody, dear. Come here.” Kara scooped the little girl up into her arms and carried her to the other side of the vehicle. Bending over slightly she saw Basil pulling the seatbelt around him. Giving him a word of encouragement, she moved the straps of the seat out of the way and placed the child in the seat. 

River bit down on her tongue. She was trying not to talk. She didn’t know how much of a vocabulary a small child of her height would have. However, it took most of her will power not to express how demeaning it was to be lifted and placed into a car. The woman seemed nice enough. She looked a lot like how her last face would have looked if she had been allowed to age.  
Kara was gently moving River’s arms to buckle her in when the flashback hit. River felt like she was being strapped into the astronaut suit that had plagued her first childhood. She began to scream and thrash. Tears ran down her face as she kicked and scratched trying to get away. 

Kara’s heart started beating wildly at the first blood-curdling scream. Melody was screaming and fighting for her life. Trying to keep the little girl from hurting herself the woman buckled up the child as fast as she could and backed away from the swinging limbs.  
“What did you do?! You pudding brain!” Basil yelled, unbuckling himself and crawling across the backseat. He tried to grab the girl’s arm.  
“Melody. Melody! Mels!” He called before switching to a language that Kara had never heard. It was beautiful and the sound of his little voice speaking the foreign tongue reminded Kara of choir boys singing heavenly refrains in Latin. Melody began to calm down as Basil kept talking. He rubbed the tears off her red cheeks and smiled. After a few moments she nodded to him and he crawled back to his seat and buckled himself back in. He reached out his hand and held onto hers before turning to look at Kara.  
“Let’s go.” His little Scottish accent was tight with emotion. Kara thought that he was trying not to cry. Obviously, something had upset them both. It was looking like this was going to be a long night.  
After strapping herself into her seat and pulling out into traffic Kara spoke, “You’re a good big brother. You know that?”  
Basil didn’t reply. He just watched with a frown as Melody put her thumb in her mouth and began to suck on it.  
Kara sighed and tried again, “It must be pretty scary having to look after her on your own.”  
“Yeah.” He nodded before looking out the window. 

The Doctor was more scared than he liked to admit. River’s screaming had worried him. He was able to calm her down, but it was obvious that her mind was starting to be replaced with that of a toddler’s. He was used to being able to rely on her to do what needed to be done. To keep up with him mentally and physically. It felt like there was nothing that they couldn’t do together, but as a child she was vulnerable. He wasn’t sure he could protect her. He didn’t know if fears and terrors from her childhood would come back to haunt her.  
He looked over at her. He was still holding her hand, but her grip was loosening. The hum of the car and the gentle movement was lulling her small body to sleep.  
He spoke to her in Gallifreyan. He didn’t want this Kara woman to get suspicious. “River! Don’t fall asleep!” He shook her hand.  
River looked blurrily at the Doctor. “Doctor? What happened?... Why was I sucking on my thumb?” She looked disgusted with herself.  
“I don’t think your mind can fight off the effects of the ray for much longer. I need you to know that I will solve this. I will get us back to normal.”  
River looked at the Doctor, “I trust you Sweetie,” she reassured him.  
“I should never have suggested leaving Darillium.”  
“It’s not your fault. I agreed to it. Plus, we really needed to get away from Nardole!” River joked.  
“He can be insufferable.” The Doctor agreed. “But still, my fault.” He looked up from his lap. “At least you got what you wanted.”  
“What?... Hmm, spending time with you, no matter how ridiculous is all I’ve ever wanted.”  
“Oh, no. I meant that conversation we had last week.”  
“What conversation?” River frowned before hitting the Doctor’s arm, “I said I was thinking about children not that I wanted to be a child!”  
The Doctor laughed. “I know! I know!” he said while fending off River’s attack.  
“Hey! You two! No fighting!” Kara turned to look at them while she was stopped at a stoplight.  
“Did you think about having children more than that time you told me about?” The Doctor sobered.  
“Maybe a few times.” River said before taking a deep breath, “But Doctor, I wasn’t completely honest with you last week.”  
“There’s a surprise.”  
“Doctor!”  
He lifted his hands in apology.  
“I wasn’t trying to talk to you about the time I had thought about children. I was trying to talk to you about the time…” River fought back tears. “About the time I did.”  
“The time you did?” The Doctor snapped away from the window. “What are you talking about River?”  
“After…after Manhattan, I was pregnant.” River spat out the word.  
“What?!?! With who???”  
River glared through tear filled eyes. “With you, you idiot.”  
“Why didn’t you call me? I think I would remember having a child. I would have been there.”  
“I tried a few times. I tried when I found out. I tried a few times throughout the pregnancy. I tried when I went into labour. I tried…” River took another deep breath, “I tried when she started to die.” She whispered.  
“River tell me.” The Doctor blinked back tears and held tightly to his wife’s small pudgy hand. Seeing her like this, tears running down her baby face made the story she told unbearable. He could see his daughter, daughter!, is his mind’s eye. A daughter he had never met, would never meet.  
“A few hours after she was born she started to scream. I didn’t know what to do. I still had a bit of a connection with her, I knew she was in pain. She just screamed and screamed.” River’s voice broke. She placed her hand over her mouth and tried to breathe. It was a few moments before she could speak again. “The next few days were horrible. I could tell her body was trying to regenerate, but she was too weak, too small, too young. All I could do was hold her. I didn’t know where to take her, I didn’t know what to do. I took her to the Catkind, but they said there was nothing that they could do. I took her back home, Doctor, and I watched our daughter die...”

“We’re here!” Kara announced happily, unaware of the shared pain of her two young passengers. She spun around in her seat and stifled a gasp. She knew the two children had been talking in that other language, she didn’t know what they had been saying but taking in their tear-stained faces and the way that the little girl shook with silent sobs, Kara knew it wasn’t good. She glanced over at Basil. He was wiping the tears off his face with his sleeve.  
Kara patted his knee with a little smile, “You’ll be safe.” She promised. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but it looked like these two weren’t looking forward to seeing their father. “You don’t have to go with anyone you don’t want to. I will make sure you will be safe.” 

The Doctor tried to smile as Kara turned around and unbuckled herself. It was obvious that this woman had no idea what they had been talking about, but there was no doubt in his mind that she was kind. She was one of those ‘one in seven billion’ sorts of people.  
Climbing out of the car he rushed around to give River a hug only to see Kara cleaning her face with a wet-wipe and then lifting her into her arms for a hug.  
“You will be ok. I won’t let anyone hurt you.” The woman said holding River close and swaying gently.  
After a moment River began to wriggle. She wanted to be put down. The hug was nice, but she wanted her husband right now, not a well-intentioned, but unknown, stranger.  
As soon as Kara placed River on the ground she threw her small arms around the Doctor’s waist. Even as a child he with thin and wiry. It gave her more comfort than she liked to admit. 

Kara looked down at the two hugging children. She was glad they had each other but after watching them for a while she became more determined than ever to make sure these kids were safe. Basil was rough around the edges, but it was obvious that he cared very much for Melody, and she clearly adored him.  
She was about to take their hands and walk into the chip shop that Basil had named earlier when Melody fisted her hands in her curls and fell to her knees crying. Basil dropped to his knees as well and rubbed her back, hushing her quietly. As Kara took a step towards them and bent to make sure she was ok Melody stopped crying, she let go of her hair and put a thumb in her mouth.  
Basil stood up and helped Melody to stand. He looked at her with worried eyes but when he spoke he said that she was ok and that sometimes she got headaches. He took her small hand in his and walked towards the entrance.  
Kara followed the two children into the shop. After helping Melody use the bathroom and buying the two kids a chocolate shake each they sat down in a booth.  
“You’re Dad’s not here, is he?” Kara asked even though she knew the answer. 

The Doctor confirmed that his “dad” wasn’t in the store. He hoped that he had the day and time right. It had been a few regenerations ago that he had last been here. It would be understandable if he was wrong, but a lot was at stake. River wasn’t River anymore, the de-aging ray had finally done its work and he wasn’t sure how much longer till his mind was reduced to that of a child. He needed to be right. He didn’t want his last memories of River to be her tear stained face as she retold the devastating events of their child’s death. It was no wonder that she didn’t believe that he had loved her. If he was there, after losing Amy and Rory, he shuddered to think of what he would have done. What he would have been like.  
He was pulled out of his unpleasant thoughts by the sound of laughter. He looked up, his previous self, along with Sarah-Jane, Rose, and Mickey had just walked in and were at the counter ordering. Now was the time. 

The Doctor laughed at something that Sarah-Jane said. It was so good to see her. It wasn’t often that he would see old companions again but if he was to run into anyone he was glad it was Sarah. She had been the light of his life for so long and now that she was here he wondered how he went so long without her in his life.  
The Doctor gestured to Sarah-Jane to put K-9 on the table when he heard two small voices.  
“Dad!”  
“Daddy!”  
He felt two small bodies fling themselves at his legs. He also sensed Rose’s glare and Sarah-Jane’s shock. He was about to push the children off his legs and set them straight when the larger of the two, a boy, began to speak in Gallifreyan.  
“Doctor, you need to play along. Trust me. We need your help and that woman needs to believe that you are our father otherwise she will take us to the police and we will never get out of here.”  
The Doctor’s throat threatened to close up at the sound of the boy’s voice. It had been so long since he had heard someone else speak in his mother-tongue and even longer since he had heard it from a child’s mouth. He nodded. 

Kara scowled as Basil jumped off of his seat and threw his arms around the thin man. A moment later Melody followed suit. She still wasn’t sure what was going on. The man hadn’t noticed or acknowledged the children when he had walked in and the three people who were with him looked shocked. But as the boy started to speak in that foreign language the man’s face changed. He dropped to his knees and put his arms around the children. He had tears in his eyes as he stood up cradling Melody to his chest.  
“Did you bring them here?” The man turned to look at her, his voice thick with emotion.  
Kara nodded.  
He reached out his hand to shake hers, “Thank you. Thank you so much. Where did you find them?” A tear ran down his face as he placed a kiss on the little girl’s cheek. Melody giggled and pressed herself closer to him. She put her thumb in her mouth and rested her head on his shoulder.  
“They were walking by the park my son plays in. Do you usually let your children wander all around the city on their own?” She accused.  
“No! No.” The man shook his head. “Never.” He looked at his friends.  
“Then what were they doing out there all alone?!” Kara was mad. She drew back his attention. These children had been frightened and alone. What sort of man would do that to his children? Were the tears and hugs all for show?  
The man reached down and took the little boy’s hand. 

The past version of himself took him by the hand and the Doctor knew that he would know that it was him, a version of himself, that had come to himself for help. He started to speak in Gallifreyan again, “Say something! Anything. Say we were kidnapped. I don’t care. We don’t have much time.”

When he grabbed the little boy’s hand the Doctor was shocked to realize that the child was himself, but not the child he had been, another child. With that shocking revelation, he realized that the little girl that he held in his arms was probably one of his future companions. A thousand questions raced through his head, but he trusted himself. If he said that he didn’t have much time, he didn’t have much time. He knew what he needed to do. 

Kara glared at the man. If Basil kept speaking in that language she wouldn’t really know what was really happening.  
Her eyes flew open as the man began to speak, he weaved a tale of how the children had been kidnapped and how he had done everything in his power to find them. He told of how his friends had tried to help and how he had been sick with worry. He reached out and grabbed her hand again. He shook it fiercely as tears ran down his face.  
“Thank you, Thank you –”  
“Kara.”  
“Kara! Beautiful name for a beautiful person! I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t found them.”  
Kara frowned. She still wasn’t sure she trusted the situation but there was nothing she could do. She grabbed a pen and some paper from her purse and quickly jotted her number on it. Bending down she looked at Basil in the eyes, “Basil, if you need help, of any kind. You just call me. Ok?” The boy nodded.  
Kara stood up and placed a gentle hand on Melody’s back. “Melody, sweet-heart?”  
Melody turned around, her thumb still in her mouth.  
“You be safe ok?”  
Melody nodded before putting her head back on the man’s chest and tightly curling her little fingers around his jacket.  
Kara took a deep breath before looking at the man. “You need to go to the police and let them know you have them. Hopefully, they can point to some support for you and your children. They will need therapy. Kidnapping is no joke.”  
“Oh, I know. And I will.” The man nodded.  
Kara frowned again and with one last glance at the children she left the shop. 

“Doctor. What the hell is going on?!” Rose demanded as soon as the door had shut.  
“Rose, Sarah, Mickey, meet me.” The Doctor smiled as he sat down carefully. The child on his chest had fallen asleep and he was loath to wake her.  
“What?!”  
“Some sort of de-aging ray?” Sarah-Jane enquired.  
“Yes.” The older, smaller, Doctor replied as he climbed up onto the seat. “I need to get to the TARDIS as soon as possible. It has already made the full change to her,” the Doctor gestured at the sleeping River, “and I’m not sure how much longer I’ve got.”  
“If I can reverse the effects in the TARDIS then I can use your version of the Old Girl to locate and call back my version. Then we can be on our way.”  
The younger, bigger, Doctor smiled, “Well then, the school can wait! Allons-y!”

**Author's Note:**

> Now that you've read it I just want to say that the whole losing a baby and not having the Doctor come is a personal headcanon of mine. Pretty morbid and horrible I know, but unfortunately, River's life is filled with this sort of stuff. I don't know about you, but when River pretty much says that the Doctor wouldn't find himself in danger with her, etc. etc. it got me to wondering what horrible thing happened where he wasn't there. She is a very capable (and dangerous!) woman in her own right so what sort of danger/adventure/thing happened that he wasn't there for and her belief in his love/in him being there for her was destroyed. I tend to think that something happened after Manhatten that added insult to injury and killed that last bit of hope. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope the story wasn't too cringy and too out of character.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> JBeans


End file.
